Through hell for a glimpse of heaven

It's that time of the year.

Oh well, bring it on.



All you can do is handle it, worst thing you can do is panic
Use it to your advantage, avoid insanity manage
To conquer, every obstacle, make impossible possible
Even when winning's illogical, losing's still far from optional

T.I - no matter what

The Tankgewehr

I almost lost it completely today.

almost...I'm not sure how long tho.

shit, all this is getting to me.



If I was young, I'd flee this town
I'd bury my dreams underground
As did I, we drink to die, we drink tonight

Beirut - elephant gun

We have been warned

Happy Bday me!

Great weekend with nothing in particular.

Was given a nice Mgmt CD too.

Anyways, I got some gems over the past week.


Moscow Olympics - Cut the world

fuzzy, dreamy and delicious.



Kashiwa Daisuke - April #2 & Program Music I

epic, melancholy and beautiful.





Toe - New Sentimentality & The Book About My Idle Plot on a Vague Anxiety

precise, free-flow and restless.






Yuichiro Fujimoto - The Mountain Record

intimate, delicate and lo fi.


Quiet thoughts and quiet dreams
quiet walks by quiet streams
and a window that looks out on the mountains and the sea,
oh how lovely

- Antonio Carlos Jobim Corvocado(Quiet nite of quiet stars)

No, we don't want to hear the sound of a draw

so here we are at the end
the war is over
there's nothing left to defend
no cliffs of Dover
so let us put down our pens
and this concludes the test
our minds are scattered about
from hell to breakfast

-Andrew bird Simple x

Reasons why I wanna go Fuji Rock Festival

We live on a mountain
Right at the top
There's a beautiful view
From the top of the mountain
Every morning I walk towards the edge
And throw little things off
Like car-parts, bottles and cutlery
Or whatever I find lying around
It's become a habit
A way to start the day

I go through all this
Before you wake up
So I can feel happier
To be safe up here with you

I go through all this
Before you wake up
So I can feel happier
To be safe up here with you

- Bjork Hyperballad

Brick

There are times when we're just not ready...we made our choice.

Live High Up.
Climb up High

You're a flower
You're a river
You're a rainbow

- Nujabes Reflection Eternal

little baby nothing

Everything has a reason, an excuse, a circumstance and 2 ways to describe the same entity.

I chose one.

No one likes looking at you
Your lack of ego offends male mentality
They need your innocence
To steal vacant love and to destroy
Your beauty and virginity used like toys

My mind is dead, everybody love's me
Wants a slice of me
Hopelessly passive and compatible
Need to belong, oh the roads are scarey
So hold me in your arms
I wanna be your only possession

- Manic Street Preachers feat Traci Lords Little Baby Nothing

simple arithmetics

"What you're having is a creative outburst"

"Write, draw, get a new book and read, go shopping, drink... keep yer hands busy"

yeah yeah, all this melancholy is probly a phase.

However, for as long as I can remember...

Anyways, did Feist won a grammy?

"one, two, three, four,
tell me that you love me more.
sleepless, long nights.
that was what my youth was for.
oh, teenage hopes
arrive at your door
left you with nothing,
but they want some more
oh, oh, oh,
you're changing your heart.
oh, oh, oh,
you know who you are.
sweetheart, bitterheart,
now i can't tell you apart.
cozy and cold,
put the horse before the cart.
those teenage hopes,
who have tears in their eyes.
too scared to own up
to one little lie."

- Feist 1,2,3,4

The Long Road Home

It's just one of those days where u wake up realizing that you didn't exactly left the bullshit that was happening in your life the last 10 years.

It's just been different faces, different places, different paths that leads to the same destination ... same ol scenario, nothing's really changed.

I feel lost today, this feels vaguely familiar...

I thought I've left you only for you to come back haunting...

Shit.

"How about some credit now
Where credit is due
For the damage that was done
We have wrought upon ourselves and others
With this blow, and vicious gun
And although pratfalls can be fun,
Encores can be fatal"

- Andrew bird Heretic

PICK UPS!!! (^___^)

Got meself some off season stash!...the blue button downs are bout 2 years old from its 2005 autumn collection while the tee's from its 2006 fall collection...

It was a steal la but even then I gotta start saving if I'm gonna get that damn watch by March next year.

anyways, here's the pics :

"The battle of waterloo was won on the playing fields of Eton"

Thank you for smoking

Eeeeee....the job I so wanted and willing to bust my balls for rejected me....EEEEeeeeeee

However, I just got an offer from another company.... IT and shit

this better be a blessing in disguise...urgh...getting an offer this morning after a rejection last nite leaves me a farnee fucking feeling...it's like having sex with some chick with a hot bod and a fucked up face, like butt ugly with "misai" and shit...not quite there.

ya dig?

I'm waiting for a call to discuss some job package...probly this afternoon...decisions decisions...if it was the one i wanted i would've just said yes without even discussing bout some package or what not...

guess you win some, u lose some.

BAH!

Chasing rainbows

RADIOHEAD

NEW

ALBUM

ONLINE.

iNFO HERE

yay...

Ruby red Parisian Chimera with a hint of blue

oh well, things are getting a lil nicer now.

about fucking time, really...might try something new for a living too....funky job opening, cant wait to give that a try.

cheers

You Are a Chimera

You are very outgoing and well connected to many people. Incredibly devoted to your family and friends, you find purpose in nurturing others. You are rarely alone, and you do best in the company of others. You are incredibly expressive, and people are sometimes overwhelmed by your strong emotions.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

You Are Chardonnay

Fresh, spirited, and classic - you have many facets to your personality. You can be sweet and light. Or deep and complex. You have a little bit of something to offer everyone... no wonder you're so popular. Approachable and never smug, you are easy to get to know (and love!). Deep down you are: Dependable and modest Your partying style: Understated and polite Your company is enjoyed best with: Cold or wild meat

What Kind of Wine Are You?

You Are the Ace of Diamonds

You are a lucky person, and you always seem to find yourself surrounds by pretty, shiny things. You have a knack for success and money - though your skills can't really be learned or taught. You shine in a room, and you a have a truly sparkling personality. A true extrovert, you always are able to share a witty joke or the latest scandalous gossip. While you do have an eye for bling, you are also quite generous. A lot of wealth and luck comes your way. And you're not afraid to pass it on. A gamble you should take: Sports betting Your friends would describe you as: Captivating Your enemies would describe you as: Greedy If you lived in Vegas, you would be: A trophy wife or husband

What Playing Card Are You?

You Are Ruby Red

You are warm and inviting - yet a little wild and outrageous. Well aware that you have a dual personality, you work it as much as you can! You like for people to be comfortable around you, but not at the expense of you stealing the limelight. Popular and well known, you make friends easily. You have your big personality to thank for that.

What Color Red Are You?

You Are Royal Blue

People find you difficult to understand. In fact, you often find it hard to understand yourself. You think so much that sometimes you get lost in your own thoughts!

What Color Blue Are You?

You Have A Type A- Personality

You are one of the most balanced people around Motivated and focused, you are good at getting what you want You rule at success, but success doesn't rule you. When it's playtime, you really know how to kick back Whether it's hanging out with friends or doing something you love! You live life to the fullest - encorporating the best of both worlds

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

You Belong in Paris

You enjoy all that life has to offer, and you can appreciate the fine tastes and sites of Paris. You're the perfect person to wander the streets of Paris aimlessly, enjoying architecture and a crepe.

What European City Do You Belong In?

You Are Quite Worldly

You've done a good bit of worldly exploring, and you have an international perspective. And you're definitely looking forward to your future adventures abroad. You've got the passport, the desire to travel, and maybe even the language skills. Now all you need are the means!

How Worldly Are You?

Your Hidden Talent

You have the power to persuade and influence others. You're the type of person who can turn a whole room around. The potential for great leadership is there, as long as you don't abuse it. Always remember, you have a lot more power over people than you might think!

What's Your Hidden Talent?

Your Job Dissatisfaction Level is 40%

Your job is not bad, but it's probably not a long term thing. You're just not happy enough to stick around for too long... And there's little that can change how you feel. Start looking around for other options, but only quit for something really good!

Should You Quit Your Job?

You Are 64% Feminine, 36% Masculine

You are in touch with your feminine side. Sensitive, intuitive, and caring are all words that describe you. And you're just masculine enough to relate to both men and women.

Are You Masculine or Feminine?

How You Life Your Life

You have a good sense of self control and hate to show weakness. You tend to avoid confrontation and stay away from sticky situations. You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly. You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

How Do You Live Your Life?

You Are An INTP

The Thinker You are analytical and logical - and on a quest to learn everything you can. Smart and complex, you always love a new intellectual challenge. Your biggest pet peeve is people who slow you down with trivial chit chat. A quiet maverick, you tend to ignore rules and authority whenever you feel like it. In love, you are an easy person to fall for. But not an easy person to stay in love with. Although you are quite flexible, you often come off as aloof or argumentative. At work, you are both a logical and creative thinker. You are great at solving problems. You would make an excellent mathematician, programmer, or professor. How you see yourself: Creative, fair, and tough-minded When other people don't get you, they see you as: arrogant, cold, and robotic

What's Your Personality Type?

Irony of it all

stolen and posted without fucking permission from post secret


look to the past to determine the present....Woooooo, some deep ass shit...sorry bout that, really needed to let some gas out...been constipated for too damn long...oh, sorry....your boy's back ;-)

so yeah...like always, as usual..same shit, different day...same ol scenario, same ol fucking rain...left the fryin pan for the fire...fuuuucked up...would love to play fucking victim, would really fucking love that shit..like oh, wtf did i do to deserve this shit??? i was nice, i was this, i was FUCKING that...FUCK!!!!

...fuck off...it might be fucked up...but at the very least i fucked it all up...my choice no one elses, fucked according to my own accord...this much i have left...a choice...choices made in the past that comes back with a fucking hammer to fuck with everyone of us.

i had one...i still do in fact...a choice...tho i still have a hammer but that's beside the point.

Yup, life is having a fucking laugh....laugh all you fucking want, i'm getting used to being a joke anyways. Been happening all my fucking life....fuck all of you, everyone of you fucks, rott in hell, FUCK OFF!!!...at what point in my fucking life will i stop having to put up with all this shit? i'm so fucking tired of this, exhausted.

really, i am...

it's like the more i try to believe, the bigger the shit blows over....like, wtf did i do??? yeah, i know....i know...half of it was my fucking fault, i choose to be in this. no one used a gun to force me into it...even then i do have a choice. fuck, fuck all this ... i dont even know wtf this is for anymore....like why the fuck should i do what i do when all it ever brought me was shit like this? i guess i'm too much of a romantic, that lil fucking rocky balboa in me that wants to go down fighting...im just not sure if i can handle shit like that anymore.

yeah, it's coming from all fronts now...professionally and personally...well, at least that was what i fucking thought....like i was being fucking delusional that it was ONLY that...before this, at the very least i had the pleasure of having 2 fucking problems seperated....i had that line...that fucking boundary...that lil fucking space to keep me fucking sane but guess what?!!!


it's all fucked up now....mixed up, fucked up...it's another level now that i'm not even allowed room to fucking breathe...i'm not so sure anymore, this is NOT what i signed up for, this not why i bust my ass for, this is not what i would expect to put up with....im not even sure i can, im not even sure i want to.

oh well, u know what they fucking say with expectations...was i expecting too much? i dont fucking think so...i really dont...u see, i dont mind problems...but wtf does it need to come to this? do i have a "fuck with me pls" sign on my forehead?

ok, dont answer that...FUCK OFF.

laugh all u fucking want.

"A liberal is a person whose interests aren't at stake at the moment." - Willis Player

exhausted - to wear out completely

In more ways than one.

"History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives"
-Abba Eban

Combat Baby